Bannon Leaving White House to Spend More Time in the 19th Century

Chief Strategist Steve Bannon is leaving the White House to spend more time in the 19th century, he confirmed for sources today.

“It’s really my true love,” said Bannon as he exited the White House this morning dressed in full military garb as a dragoon from the elite First Squadron of Napoleon’s cavalry.

Bannon’s admiration for Napoleon has been well known, but he emphasized today his wide-ranging appreciation for ideas and practices from the period.

“Because of this,” Bannon said in a prepared statement, “I have decided to leave┬áthe present era for good and return to my true home. As a man of the 19th century, I can engage more directly in several of my passions, including colonial wars of expansion, patriarchal sexual relations and the promulgation of pro-white ideology, if not outright slavery.”

Pundits and colleagues emphasized that Bannon’s legacy at the White House was closely tied to 19th-century ideas.

“From his push for trade wars to his almost anarchic desire to destroy the modern state, Steve was a breath of fresh air from an earlier time,” said Historical Fox News host Sean Hannity.

“Without a doubt, he brought more antiquated ideas into this administration than any other advisor,” added White House advisor Stephen Miller, who is considered the most likely to replace Bannon as an advocate for out-moded ideas. “His retrograde influence will be sorely missed.”

“He was definitely rooted in the past,” said White House Chief of Staff Gen. John Kelly in a text. “And IMHO, also batshit crazy.”

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