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Historical Fox News — Fighting Media Bias Before It Happened

Since it launched in 1996, Fox News has been the world leader in the fight against liberal media bias. But there’s a problem: the liberal media was around way before Fox News. Long before Matt Damon claimed the science “was settled” or Anderson Cooper rolled his eyes at Heartland America, PC journalists ran rampant across our great nation, seeking safe spaces for everyone from runaway slaves to proto feminazis. From the 1600s on, this slant infected news coverage of everything from the fairness of Southern labor practices to the freedom of Christians to silence Muslims, the rights of men to combat reverse sexism and the need for corporations to maintain massive trusts that could benefit workers with long hours and dependable jobs.

That’s why Historical Fox News was rolled out, to address media bias not just in the future, but in the past. Now you can see how Fox News would have covered events in the past, had they been there to get it right the first time.

For too long, American history has been left in the hands of socialist professors and Hollywood elites. With Historical Fox News, you no longer need to feel bound by the so-called “facts” of U.S. history as they’ve been cooked up in Ivory Towers and Hollywood blockbusters. Now, you can see how Fox News would have fairly and accurately covered all aspects of American greatness, had its correspondents, pundits and pamphleteers actually been there.

And let’s face it: Fox News was needed back then. Historically in America, news coverage of subjects such as slavery, women’s rights and labor unions has been slanted farther to the left than the volunteer table at an NPR fundraiser.

The biased coverage in the past created a vicious cycle. Multiple generations of misguided liberals grew up with ridiculous misconceptions about everything from the “Trail of Tears” to the meat-packing business. To hear the liberal elites tell it, America over its first centuries was a rapacious scrum of white fraternity brothers dispossessing noble Indians of their land, building half the country’s economy on the backs of slaves, instituting racism to divide poor whites from blacks, denying the franchise to women and Mexican immigrants, and granting huge powers to corporations and so-called “robber barons.”

This vision of America is totally one-sided and unfair. That’s why Historical Fox News is here, to help make America great again by showing the past not as progressives & globalists depicted it, but as it should have been seen the first time.

The real Fox News doesn’t have the balls to go back and show you how they would have covered American history properly, but we’re not afraid. Snowflakes beware: This is a time when trigger warnings were followed by a hail of lead, not an Anne Coulter lecture. Here’s America as Fox News would have covered it.

In case you are a confused Fox News reader, please know this is a parody site that has nothing to do with the real Fox News, which started in 1996 and never covered any historical events before then. But if they had, America would already be great again.